Transform Your Life to Immortality and Joy

Read my life story, and discover how you can change any crisis to a positive strength. Find joy and immortality with the video at the bottom of this article. (updated version of previous post)

Make Your Life Something Good

Every day, we’re constantly changing — to something good or not so great. To enhance our lives or diminish them, is a choice we make.

Why not change in a beneficial way, to a life you desire and the person you’ve always wanted to be?

We’re in control, the captains of this ship. We make and create the life we have by our habits and choices.

Some choices are made with awareness, some not.

Decisions we make determine both our happiness and pain.

The Story Ahead

As we grow in awareness, we can craft our lives in the manner we wish.

In the story ahead, you’ll discover how awareness and choice can improve, how crisis and tragedy can be followed by miraculous success.

You’ll see how hardship and pain can turn into the powerful basis of wisdom and strength.

A Bad Decision, a Terrible Choice

In my teens, I was deeply interested in human potential and spiritual growth. I wanted to be all a person could be, to fulfill our highest potential on earth. I wanted a spiritual experience and a closeness to God.

At this time, I was reading about hallucinogenics from professionals and Harvard PhDs. I was hearing talk about how L.S.D. could bring you closer to God. However, I was naive about the dangers of such an approach.

I Went Ahead and Took It

I went ahead and took L.S.D.; it was interesting, but nothing of a spiritual nature happened. I tried it a second time, and it almost killed me. What I took had too much strychnine and methamphetamine, or so I was told by the boy who sold it to me.

Further, I didn’t know that L.S.D. was a potent neurotoxin, as is strychnine. I didn’t understand that the brain isn’t designed to operate, thrive or survive under such conditions.

The reality is this: there’s no way to know what I actually took. Street drugs are made in less than ideal circumstances.

Who Knows What It Was?

With this street drug I took, of who knows what, I had an experience of earth-shattering pain and terror. As the strychnine kicked in and the hallucinogen twisted, the amphetamine powered the entire experience to a breathtaking intensity.

Deeply into this drug experience, I crashed and tangled with a line of rose bushes that had sharp grabbing stickers. As this happened, the bushes came alive, with a vengeance.

Like a Disney movie gone wrong, the bushes came to life, aggressively wrapping my body with long and twisting tentacles. These tentacles had fierce piercing hooks that tore my body apart with encircling and grinding force.

It was an ever-accelerating pain of unbelievable proportion.

There’s More

After the rose bushes had their way, there was a brief pause of relief.

The pause was short lived, and quickly a swarming throng of ravenous bats descended upon my body — ripping, tearing and eating away the flesh exposed by the rose bushes. I could feel every moment of pain.

As this stark experience subsided, there was another pause and moment of calm … soon followed by writhing worms and insects pulsing from the ground in massive attack — swarming and encompassing what was left of me, and eating every last vestige of muscle, sinew and remaining body flesh. My bones we spared.

This was a trip gone wrong: of too much strychnine, L.S.D. and methamphetamine acting in horror.

How I Almost Died

Strychnine poisoning is an agonizing experience few remain to describe. It kills you of course, but the process of dying from it is agonizing, a pain beyond comprehension.

As I had this experience, it was like hell-on-steroids with all the illicit drugs working together to heighten the effect of terror, fear and pain.

Eventually, I could feel my death was near. With muscles constricting and heart pounding wildly, I knew my life was about to end, and started to leave my body.

Deep Soul Rising

At this critical time, I slowly began to experience my soul, or core-being: the true person living my life. This true person was like an oversoul, a deeper consciousness and higher self.

I found my higher self watching this tragic event, and leaving my body, knowing this lifetime was over. My experience at this time was of myself, as this Higher Being, as who I really was, without earthly obfuscation.

I had the awareness of living hundreds of lives before and the memory of dying many times. I knew what was about to happen; I was fully awake and focused.

With death nearing, I was calm and still, as my soul aware.

Life as a Star Trek Holodeck Program

The holodeck is a fictional plot device from the television series Star Trek. It is presented as a staging environment in which participants can engage with different virtual reality environments.

My near-death episode revealed earthly life to be a type of Star Trek, Holodeck experience of fictional theater where we’re so immersed in the experience that we forget who we are.

My near-death experience was like a Holodeck program that was shutting down and coming to an end. As the fictional Holodeck generator shut itself off, I was coming back to awareness as the soul I really was.

What Near-Death Showed Me

My near-death experience showed me this: It appears that we’re born into a fictional play, of life on earth, where we forget who we are and where we come from. In earthly life, it seems we take a role to work with for our own personal reasons.

At death, we seem to snap back into being the Greater Soul we truly are, having learned and grown from our life on earth.

As my near-death crisis continued, I was leaving my body with my Larger Soul, saying, “Well, I guess this lifetime is over.” These are literally the words I was saying to myself.

How Everything Stopped

Almost as soon as my end-of-life experience began, it stopped.

After this near-death time, my consciousness ended as if in sleep, but not asleep.

A period passed in this unknown state, I awakened a few hours later, removed from the wild and Disney-esque rose bushes … thank goodness. I don’t know how I escaped. I was taken, unconscious, from the thicket of thorns and placed gently is a safe place.

I came awake in a beautiful backyard lawn, of a close-by home. Flickering to consciousness, I found myself on my back, looking upward toward a moonlit sky. It was a rebirth of sorts; my life had been spared.

The Pain Was Gone

Awake on the lawn, the pain was gone, and the horrible crisis had ended. I knew my life had been spared.

In great relief, I walked home in the middle of that night. I entered my parents house and quietly went to bed.

I was safe; the effect of the drug experience had stopped. My life had somehow been saved. I did not die, and felt grateful to have another chance.

Oops, Not So Fast

In my bed, resting and grateful, I relaxed a couple of hours. With the drug experience gone, I got up and readied for my summer job. Walking down the stairs to the first floor, I passed a large open window.

From the window, I could hear birds and crickets roaring. The effect of this sound instantly brought back the horror and fear of the night before. The sound of the birds and crickets was similar to the bats descending upon me.

The Problem Was Instantly Apparent

At that moment, with the sound of birds and crickets, I could feel a painful rush go down my nervous system; I could feel a startled alarm in my brain. The full extent of damage from the previous night’s experience was instantly apparent. My brain and nervous system were badly injured; I had a strong form of P.T.S.D.

At that moment, I said to myself, “Wow, I’m fucked for life” … and I was. I knew exactly what had happened to my brain and body. I could feel the full extent of damage, and knew it was severe.

A Difficult Year — a Miracle Healing

The year ahead, my 16th, was an unending ordeal. If I were not being triggered into that terrifying experience, I was in fear I would be triggered back. There was no escape or relief. Reality had become a hell of unbelievable proportion, with never a moment’s rest.

I was in constant fear and pain.

After a year of living this way, I realized I couldn’t continue. I reached the limit of what I could endure.

In desperation, I reached for help, asking a Higher Power for something, anything that could save my life and give me relief.

From the core of my being, I implored for an intervention … and then, instantly, something happened that was beyond belief.

An Unbelievable Event!

That night, as I asked a Higher Power for help, I instantly found myself in a different state of consciousness, by the side of what I call My Creator.

Sitting with this Wonderful Presence, I was whom I had always been, forever, throughout all of time and before. I was my Higher Self; I was more who-I-am than I had ever been on earth.

In this Higher Power consciousness, there was no time or space, but this place was far more real and immediate than life on earth. It seemed like heaven or nirvana, and I’m sure it was.

In this place of infinite joy, everything was an extraordinary love and compassion.

I knew exactly where I was, as if I had always been there and had never left.

There Was Love and Perfect Understanding

I sat with this Higher Power, side by side, for an indefinite time. Together, we beheld ourselves in perfect love, understanding and wholeness. This Higher Power was my Father, my origin from whom I arose.

At this time, I shared my Higher Power’s force and love, yet we were two distinct individuals. I was the child of this definitive and wonderful being.

I Was Fully Alive as Myself

My time with this Higher Power was an all-encompassing experience of personal transformation.

As I slowly returned from the Higher Power place, I could feel I’d been physically healed, about 30%, from my taxing condition. Back in this world, the Force of God flowed through me to every place I looked.

I was fully alive, a young man as he was created to be.

A Higher Power Flowed through Me

Every situation of hardship and need drew from this Force of Goodness.

At the time of this extraordinary experience, I was upset with certain people in my life; there was great turmoil. As I thought of these people, the full force of my High Power’s love flowed though me, endlessly, to the person or situation that had been troubling.

Unending Compassion on Earth

I was the face of this unending love that shown upon the earth.

Every object of my thoughts received an instant flow of love. This flow of love was a Higher Compassion I shared with my Father Being. My Father and I were one presence of love, yet separate individuals. This love came from my Father, but was also mine to behold and direct.

At this special moment, I was a person of love: complete and eternal, giving and immortal.

Yet, the Love Faded

As this experience ended, the Force of Love faded, and I went back to my former self, but I had been healed about 30% from my injured condition.

Before this healing, I thought of ending my life, the pain and anxiety were so intense and had lasted for so long. However, I didn’t really want things to end. At death’s door, I made a request, a prayer from an unknown depth. I said, “God, do something, or I’m cashing in my chips.”

It Makes Me Laugh

The earnest plea I made, in my moment of crisis, can make me laugh today. I don’t suggest this approach, but this was the fact: As a teenager, badly injured, alone and suffering for a year, I had reached the limit of what I could endure. I knew I couldn’t continue for one more hour, and there was nothing on earth that could have saved me.

I Was at The End of the Road

I was at the proverbial end of the road. There was nothing on earth that could change me or fix my condition.

In response to my plight, I found an inner resource I didn’t know I had. My moment of crisis and need had given me the ability to find a greater source of being.

Love Poured Forth from Heaven to Earth

As this healing experience happened, age 16, I made a commitment to completely recover and become the full force of this love on earth, a conduit of perfect peace.

In that time of healing, as love poured from me into earth, I understood our human purpose, the destiny of life.

I could see we’re designed to love in an exceptional manner. I could see we struggle and die, blindly, without this Masterful Love fully employed in our lives.